| What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The act of forgiveness is selfish, needing no acknowledgment of acceptance of the offer.
Why should I practice Forgiveness?
When someone you care about hurts you, without the act of forgiveness,
you can be endlessly burdened with resentment, anger and thoughts of revenge.
Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened to you. Forgiveness does not deny the offender's responsibility
and does not minimize or justify the act that hurt you. Practice forgiveness for the sake of your happiness
and well-being. Without forgiveness you will not clear your consciousness from the hurtful emotions associated with the acts that you should forgive.
What if I'm not ready?
You may never feel like you are ready to forgive. You need to believe that Forgiveness is a necessary step in the healing process of emotional hurt. Often, the difficulty in becoming ready to forgive surrounds the thought that somehow the act of forgiveness erases the act that hurt you or releases the offender of responsibility. Forgiveness is about you, and your well-being. Let go of the resentment and anger. The act of forgiveness will release you from the bond between the offensive act and the associated negative emotions.
Recognize the benefits forgiveness will bring to your life.
What are the benefits of Forgiveness?
There are many health benefits associated with Forgiveness, including lower blood pressure, lower heart rate, less negative stress, less hostility with better anger management skills, lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse, fewer depression and anxiety symptoms, and reduction of chronic pain. Community impact results in healthier relationships and better friendships, greater spiritual well-being, and improved psychological well-being.
What is the process of Forgiveness?
It is not necessary to confront the person who offended you. The act of forgiveness is all about you. If you will feel better, then certainly tell someone, "I forgive you". This act may not result in positive exchange of thought. It is only necessary that you rid yourself of the negative emotion bound to the hurtful act. Forgiveness is neither simple, nor easy. There is no mantra that will magically remove emotional hurt.
You need to be ready to forgive, and Forgiveness will happen. Become 'ready' through the understanding that forgiveness is about you and your well-being. Living a positive lifestyle is helpful in relieving other stresses in your life which will make the act of Forgiveness easier.
How do I begin?
Believe that the act of forgiveness will release you from the negative emotion that is bound to this act. Understand that the act of forgiveness is for your benefit and is not about the person who committed the hurtful act. Project yourself as something other than a victim. As a victim, the offender and the situation holds control over you. Make a conscious effort to forgive the offense.
Also, remember that forgiveness is often not a one-time thing. It begins with your decision to forgive, but memories or actions may trigger old feelings. You may need to recommit to forgiveness over and over again.
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